Sarah's Book Is A Stimulus Package For The Comedy Industry

"The book costs $24.99, but it has a $5,000 jacket." --Jimmy Fallon

"Sarah Palin's 400-page memoir is going to be released on November 17th, and it's called 'Going Rogue: An American Life.' And critics say that it starts out okay, it get's really exciting and then confusing, and then the last 100 pages are blank." --Jimmy Fallon


"People in Alaska are looking forward to Sarah Palin's memoir. They're already calling it 'The Book to Nowhere.'" --David Letterman

"They say she finished the book ahead of schedule so they moved the release date up to November 17th. So, turns out she can finish something." --Jimmy Kimmel

"It's a big, huge book. But when you go into the store, you can use that big book to step up so you can reach a better book." --David Letterman

"But the book has got a lot of beautiful color photos that Sarah has taken from her front porch -- beautiful pictures of Russia that she took from her front porch." --David Letterman


David Letterman's Top Ten Sarah Palin Tips For Writing A Book

10. Close curtains so you don't get distracted by Russia.
9. Increase vocabulary -- use words like "slanket."
8. First buy yourself 100-grand worth of writing outfits.
7. Don't write a word until the check clears.
6. Limit yourself to one "you betcha" per chapter.
5. You can never have enough stories about ice fishing or killing things with your bare hands.
4. When in doubt, just type (wink).
3. Don't let writing cut into attending "Fire Letterman" rallies.
2. Have a book translated for sale to European countries like London.
1. I'll try to find ya some tips and I'll bring 'em to ya!

One Year Ago We First Met The Wasilla Hillbillies

It has been a good ride Sarah and we will continue to follow your career as it shifts gears from forward to reverse, to neutral and back again. You've given us a lot of laughs, even tears (from laughing so hard) with your Tweets, Facebook wall and and even your so called "prepared" speeches. One of my favorite sites for mockery is Mock, Paper, Scissors , This from Tengrain there today :

One year ago today, Mooselini was thrust into the national spotlight, thanks to the failing and flailing presidential campaign that Grandpa Walnuts was running. And in some sort of act of desperate daring-do, the old fart unleashed upon an unsuspecting public perhaps the greatest grifter and her clan of hillbillies in modern American history.

Besides the animal-like Todd, we have:

•Track: the alleged meth connection sent to Iraq to head off a criminal charge, and to clean him out, but it’s pretty close to ground zero in the heroin supply chain.
•Bristol: the single mother of Trip, ex-girlfriend of Levi and noted abstinance educator.
•Willow: the mysterious Palin with a vacant Jan-Brady smile. bristol, Bristol, BRISTOL!
•Piper: perhaps the one to keep an eye on, she might snap any moment now that she is the second-place human shield when her brother…
•Trig/Algorythm: who may or may not be Mooselini’s kid, and served as the campaign’s prop and took first place as a human shield away from Piper. Trig is the likable Palin.
•Levi: the handsome but stupid sperm donor and father of…
•Trip: who probably is another likable Palin, because he is really a Johnston.
Sweet Jeebus? Only one year? Really?

Really, I know, it seems time flies when you're having a good time.

Now Liberals Are Pagans ! Kickin' It Old School

The RNC ( Rush, Newt and Cheney ) continue to accidentally serve their country by saying the most idiotic, misguided and obnoxious statements possible, all designed to pander to the lunatic fringe that's growing smaller every day . These guys continue to find new ways to paint themselves into a corner.......... I am amazed we're not in an even deeper hole than we are when I see the extent of their cluelessness and realize that they ran this country for so long. Some of the comments to this are so good I want to share em with you

From Steven Benen at Political Animal :

BRING ON THE PAGANS.... Once in a while, it's good for political activists to expand their rhetorical repertoire a bit. Conservatives, for example, have been complaining about "liberals," "Hollywood," and the dearth of "family values" for decades. The culture-war language is stale, and more likely to produce eye-rolling than passion.

Perhaps it's time for the right to bring back an oldie that we haven't heard emphasized in a while.

Two leading voices of the Republican Party's evangelical wing visited Rock Church on Friday for a forum aimed at recapturing some of the movement's political momentum.

Former Speaker of the House Newt Gingrich and former presidential candidate Mike Huckabee urged Christians to get involved in politics to preserve the presence of religion in American life.

"I think this is one of the most critical moments in American history," Gingrich said. "We are living in a period where we are surrounded by paganism."


Now we're talking. It's one thing to lament feeling surrounded by liberalism, but to feel surrounded by paganism is to kick it old school. Really old school.

Back in December, a religious right activist insisted that "today's liberalism is really just ... a philosophy rooted in ancient pagan traditions." But the piece was published in WorldNetDaily, where it didn't have much of an impact.

Having Newt Gingrich talk about it raises the stakes. After all, the media keeps telling us how important he is.

I'd actually like to see this catch on with other leaders on the right. Nothing helps demonstrate the relevance of conservatism in the 21st century like high-profile complaints about pagans.

Don't you love that ? You go Steven !


Comments:

Gotta love the way that stellar example of Christian virtues, Gingrich, wants to hold the line against pagan values. Values like ethical violations while holding public office, giving your wife divorce papers while she's in the hospital with cancer, having affairs--what would we Christians do without Newt around to tell us what's right and wrong?
Posted by: frazer on June 7, 2009 at 7:55 AM

We are talking about serial adulterer Gingrich, tight? Also religious racist bigot Huckabee. Now I have seen everything.
Posted by: JS on June 7, 2009 at 8:05 AM

Pagans??? I can't wait until Newt gets to fornicators.
Posted by: JoeW on June 7, 2009 at 8:07 AM

So called "Paganism" predates Christianity by a couple of millenia. In fact Christianity co opted many of the old ways, including various holidays. Even the Golden Rule comes from the Wiccan Rule of Three.
Posted by: DAY on June 7, 2009 at 8:09 AM

"Two leading voices of the Republican Party's evangelical wing"
hahaha... newtie's now officially acknowledged as a leading voice for the american taliban.
Posted by: linda on June 7, 2009 at 8:11 AM

Exactly what form of idol do liberals worship? Near as I can tell most liberal principles, as espoused by Christian, Jew, Muslim, religious and atheist, are grounded in the very Christian notion of "do unto others as you would have them do unto you."
Idol worship featuring a mindless devotion to Ronald Reagan and other false gods like "capitalism" are pretty much Republican stock in trade. Elevating greed to a virtue is another rather unChristian notion current in Newt Gingrich's Republican world view.
Why are we still paying attention to Newt Gingrich anyway?
Posted by: Ron Byers on June 7, 2009 at 8:19 AM

The statements of both Newtire & Hucklebee veered toward calls for theocracy.
Just what does this mean?
"I am not a citizen of the world," said Gingrich, who was first elected to the U.S. House from Georgia in 1978 and served as speaker from 1995 to 1999. "I am a citizen of the United States because only in the United States does citizenship start with our creator."
Has "historian" Gingrich never heard of the 14th Amendment?
Posted by: M. Bouffant on June 7, 2009 at 8:32 AM

Democrat Pagan Party. That has a much better ring to it than Democrat Socialist Party. Where can I get a bumper sticker?
Posted by: Norwood Woman on June 7, 2009 at 8:42 AM

These republicans remain inept, no matter the bizarrely articulate Gingrichs' of their world. Their tragic inattention to the country, and far too many miscalculations, were aptly recognized by voters in 2006 and 2008, too bad/so sad for the republican party establishment, now in shambles. These conservatives are unable to spin the reality like they use to. Undeterred, they continue in their very precise and disastrous downward direction. This morning--to my delight--a caller to Washington Journal on Cspan said President Obama can't even squeeze the Charmin without Republicans criticizing him endlessly, and another caller wondered who would be the next Turd Blossom of the republican party. Bwa ha ha . Gotta love how voters got so very intelligent the past few years! They aren't swayed by the party of continual crisis, of no solutions...the party of noooooooooooo. Talk about a major repudiation!
Posted by: consider wisely on June 7, 2009 at 8:51 AM

"today's liberalism is really just ... a philosophy rooted in ancient pagan traditions."
Well duh, isn't that the definition of philosophy? Pythagoras, Plato and Socrates were not Christians after all. There aren't many pejoratives left. But just like Liberal seems to be losing its sting, "Pagan" has also had a revival. Certainly to old guys like Gingrich and Pope Benedict, it still has that old voodoo. But I doubt in the 18-25 age group, it is the pejorative they think it is. As it is now associated with nature based religion.
Posted by: Patrick on June 7, 2009

More Wisdom From Pancake Head Palin

" BLITZER: Does that mean you want to come up with a new Sarah Palin initiative that you want to release right now.
PALIN: Gah! Nothing specific right now. Sitting here in these chairs that I’m going to be proposing but in working with these governors who again on the front lines are forced to and it’s our privileged obligation to find solutions to the challenges facing our own states every day being held accountable, not being just one of many just casting votes or voting present every once in a while, we don’t get away with that. We have to balance budgets and we’re dealing with multibillion dollar budgets and tens of thousands of employees in our organizations. "

Gah ! ..................Nothing specific here at all...............actually , nothing said either because Princess Sparkle Pony strings together buzz words and generally noble rhetoric. Sadly , it's enough to excite the fundies and the bubbas. They love her down at the four wheel mud bog. They love her down at the Church of Fuck You, I've Got Mine. She has to be the first beauty queen that is against world peace. Everyone please donate to her next campaign, and Huck's and Mittens' and Rooty's because to watch the Republicans tear each other apart for the next few years will be .....well.....sublime.


The Sarah image is done by the artist Dan Lacey. He does others with a pancake on their head and he has Condi Rice with a jockstrap on her head. Isn't the internets great ?