Reagan on a fifty dollar bill ? Ok , but only if we can have KISS on a twenty

And maybe Otis Redding on a tenner ? WC Fields on a fin ? Charles Bukowski on a single ?

Sarah's Book Is A Stimulus Package For The Comedy Industry

"The book costs $24.99, but it has a $5,000 jacket." --Jimmy Fallon

"Sarah Palin's 400-page memoir is going to be released on November 17th, and it's called 'Going Rogue: An American Life.' And critics say that it starts out okay, it get's really exciting and then confusing, and then the last 100 pages are blank." --Jimmy Fallon


"People in Alaska are looking forward to Sarah Palin's memoir. They're already calling it 'The Book to Nowhere.'" --David Letterman

"They say she finished the book ahead of schedule so they moved the release date up to November 17th. So, turns out she can finish something." --Jimmy Kimmel

"It's a big, huge book. But when you go into the store, you can use that big book to step up so you can reach a better book." --David Letterman

"But the book has got a lot of beautiful color photos that Sarah has taken from her front porch -- beautiful pictures of Russia that she took from her front porch." --David Letterman


David Letterman's Top Ten Sarah Palin Tips For Writing A Book

10. Close curtains so you don't get distracted by Russia.
9. Increase vocabulary -- use words like "slanket."
8. First buy yourself 100-grand worth of writing outfits.
7. Don't write a word until the check clears.
6. Limit yourself to one "you betcha" per chapter.
5. You can never have enough stories about ice fishing or killing things with your bare hands.
4. When in doubt, just type (wink).
3. Don't let writing cut into attending "Fire Letterman" rallies.
2. Have a book translated for sale to European countries like London.
1. I'll try to find ya some tips and I'll bring 'em to ya!

Take The Teabagger Socialist-Free Purity Pledge

Read it................ sign it and send it on to your friends, because affordable healthcare for all Americans and saving the country from a depression will be the final straws and make us a socialist country :

I, ________________________, do solemnly swear to uphold the principles of a socialism-free society and heretofore pledge my word that I shall strictly adhere to the following:

I will complain about the destruction of 1st Amendment Rights in this country, while I am duly being allowed to exercise my 1st Amendment Rights.

I will complain about the destruction of my 2nd Amendment Rights in this country, while I am duly being allowed to exercise my 2nd Amendment rights by legally but brazenly brandishing unconcealed firearms in public.

I will foreswear the time-honored principles of fairness, decency, and respect by screaming unintelligible platitudes regarding tyranny, Nazi-ism, and socialism at public town halls.

I pledge to eliminate all government intervention in my life. I will abstain from the use of and participation in any socialist goods and services including but not limited to the following:

Social Security

Medicare/Medicaid

State Children’s Health Insurance Programs (SCHIP)

Police, Fire, and Emergency Services

US Postal Service

Roads and Highways

Air Travel (regulated by the socialist FAA)

The US Railway System

Public Subways and Metro Systems

Public Bus and Lightrail Systems

Rest Areas on Highways

Sidewalks

All Government-Funded Local/State Projects (e.g., see Iowa 2009 federal senate appropriations)

Public Water and Sewer Services (goodbye socialist toilet, shower, dishwasher, kitchen sink, outdoor hose!)

Public and State Universities and Colleges

Public Primary and Secondary Schools

Sesame Street

Publicly Funded Anti-Drug Use Education for Children

Public Museums

Libraries

Public Parks and Beaches

State and National Parks

Public Zoos

Unemployment Insurance

Municipal Garbage and Recycling Services

Treatment at Any Hospital or Clinic That Ever Received Funding From Local, State or Federal Government (pretty much all of them)

Medical Services and Medications That Were Created or Derived From Any Government Grant or Research Funding (again, pretty much all of them)

Socialist Byproducts of Government Investment Such as Duct Tape and Velcro (Nazi-NASA Inventions)

Use of the Internets, email, and networked computers, as the DoD's ARPANET was the basis for subsequent computer networking

Foodstuffs, Meats, Produce and Crops That Were Grown With, Fed With, Raised With or That Contain Inputs From Crops Grown With Government Subsidies

Clothing Made from Crops (e.g. cotton) That Were Grown With or That Contain Inputs From Government Subsidies

If a veteran of the government-run socialist US military, I will forego my VA benefits and insist on paying for my own medical care

I will not tour socialist government buildings like the Capitol in Washington, D.C.

I pledge to never take myself, my family, or my children on a tour of the following types of socialist locations, including but not limited to:

Smithsonian Museums such as the Air and Space Museum or Museum of American History

The socialist Washington, Lincoln, and Jefferson Monuments

The government-operated Statue of Liberty

The Grand Canyon

The socialist World War II and Vietnam Veterans Memorials

The government-run socialist-propaganda location known as Arlington National Cemetery

All other public-funded socialist sites, whether it be in my state or in Washington, DC

I will urge my Member of Congress and Senators to forego their government salary and government-provided healthcare.

I will oppose and condemn the government-funded and therefore socialist military of the United States of America.

I will boycott the products of socialist defense contractors such as GE, Lockheed-Martin, Boeing, Northrop Grumman, General Dynamics, Raytheon, Humana, FedEx, General Motors, Honeywell, and hundreds of others that are paid by our socialist government to produce goods for our socialist army.

I will protest socialist security departments such as the Pentagon, FBI, CIA, Department of Homeland Security, TSA, Department of Justice and their socialist employees.

Upon reaching eligible retirement age, I will tear up my socialist Social Security checks.

Upon reaching age 65, I will forego Medicare and pay for my own private health insurance until I die.

SWORN ON A BIBLE AND SIGNED THIS DAY OF __________ IN THE YEAR ___.

_____________ _________________________

Signed Printed Name/Town and State

This by a reader on one of my " must read daily " sites, Daily Kos.

So How About These Wacky Birthers Anyway, Huh.... Huh ?

You gotta love them. So dedicated, and so batshit crazy ! "Always mistaken, never in doubt" was the way I heard it put once. This short animated vid explains what they think is the real story behind our President's birth. A very entertaining 2:49.

One Year Ago We First Met The Wasilla Hillbillies

It has been a good ride Sarah and we will continue to follow your career as it shifts gears from forward to reverse, to neutral and back again. You've given us a lot of laughs, even tears (from laughing so hard) with your Tweets, Facebook wall and and even your so called "prepared" speeches. One of my favorite sites for mockery is Mock, Paper, Scissors , This from Tengrain there today :

One year ago today, Mooselini was thrust into the national spotlight, thanks to the failing and flailing presidential campaign that Grandpa Walnuts was running. And in some sort of act of desperate daring-do, the old fart unleashed upon an unsuspecting public perhaps the greatest grifter and her clan of hillbillies in modern American history.

Besides the animal-like Todd, we have:

•Track: the alleged meth connection sent to Iraq to head off a criminal charge, and to clean him out, but it’s pretty close to ground zero in the heroin supply chain.
•Bristol: the single mother of Trip, ex-girlfriend of Levi and noted abstinance educator.
•Willow: the mysterious Palin with a vacant Jan-Brady smile. bristol, Bristol, BRISTOL!
•Piper: perhaps the one to keep an eye on, she might snap any moment now that she is the second-place human shield when her brother…
•Trig/Algorythm: who may or may not be Mooselini’s kid, and served as the campaign’s prop and took first place as a human shield away from Piper. Trig is the likable Palin.
•Levi: the handsome but stupid sperm donor and father of…
•Trip: who probably is another likable Palin, because he is really a Johnston.
Sweet Jeebus? Only one year? Really?

Really, I know, it seems time flies when you're having a good time.

Rush Limbaugh Totally Flips The Fuck Out

This horse's ass, this fat bag of gas , this sex tourist , his Oxycontin is either working too well or maybe he should start tapering off. I believe he has finally lost it.
He compares the " Obamacare " logo to a Nazi swastika logo in the video grab below.

Limbaugh: "The Obama health care logo is damn close to a Nazi swastika logo"

Rush thinks the symbol of caduceus, for centuries used to represent medicine, is secretly / on purpose a Nazi symbol.

Here's the Obama logo



This is the comparison from the bloviator's own website



I suppose he figures that this part of the United States Army is fascist also.



Too much ? Yes ......Ridiculous ? ..........yes indeed !
His own words



I suppose these two things mean the same thing



Using his logic, what does a " real American " supposed to think about this ? ...Just a coincidence ?



I found this comment by one Mr. Christopher Howard on Media Matters, who gets my thanks for the funniest thing I read all day :


Rush, you are confused. The talking point schedule is supposed to be as follows...
Monday: Obama is iron-fisted dictator (Hitler and Stalin) day.
Tuesday: Obama is weak leader (Neville Chamberlain and Jimmy Carter) day.
Wednesday: Liberalism = Communism/Socialism day
Thursday: Liberalism = Fascism/Nazism day
Friday: Obama is secretly a fanatical Muslim and/or non-believer Atheist/or the anti-Christ day. Also Taco Night!
Please adjust your calendar accordingly.

The ones that do believe this kind of thing are like the "concerned citizen" described below:

At a recent town hall meeting, a man stood up and told Representative Bob Inglis to "keep your government hands off my Medicare." The congressman, a Republican from South Carolina, tried to explain that Medicare is already a government program -- but the voter, Mr. Inglis said, "wasn't having any of it."

Amsterdam, Just The Facts Please

Once again Fox News shares it's own "vision" of what the rest of the world is really like. They are so down on drugs but if you ask me , this proves that at Faux Snooze, they are taking them some drugs.

This from an Amsterdam resident :

Most people know that the Fox channel isn't the most objective news source on American TV. But in a pretty recent broadcast Amsterdam is so falsely portrayed as a city of crime, drugs and anarchy, that I had to show the facts.

Now Liberals Are Pagans ! Kickin' It Old School

The RNC ( Rush, Newt and Cheney ) continue to accidentally serve their country by saying the most idiotic, misguided and obnoxious statements possible, all designed to pander to the lunatic fringe that's growing smaller every day . These guys continue to find new ways to paint themselves into a corner.......... I am amazed we're not in an even deeper hole than we are when I see the extent of their cluelessness and realize that they ran this country for so long. Some of the comments to this are so good I want to share em with you

From Steven Benen at Political Animal :

BRING ON THE PAGANS.... Once in a while, it's good for political activists to expand their rhetorical repertoire a bit. Conservatives, for example, have been complaining about "liberals," "Hollywood," and the dearth of "family values" for decades. The culture-war language is stale, and more likely to produce eye-rolling than passion.

Perhaps it's time for the right to bring back an oldie that we haven't heard emphasized in a while.

Two leading voices of the Republican Party's evangelical wing visited Rock Church on Friday for a forum aimed at recapturing some of the movement's political momentum.

Former Speaker of the House Newt Gingrich and former presidential candidate Mike Huckabee urged Christians to get involved in politics to preserve the presence of religion in American life.

"I think this is one of the most critical moments in American history," Gingrich said. "We are living in a period where we are surrounded by paganism."


Now we're talking. It's one thing to lament feeling surrounded by liberalism, but to feel surrounded by paganism is to kick it old school. Really old school.

Back in December, a religious right activist insisted that "today's liberalism is really just ... a philosophy rooted in ancient pagan traditions." But the piece was published in WorldNetDaily, where it didn't have much of an impact.

Having Newt Gingrich talk about it raises the stakes. After all, the media keeps telling us how important he is.

I'd actually like to see this catch on with other leaders on the right. Nothing helps demonstrate the relevance of conservatism in the 21st century like high-profile complaints about pagans.

Don't you love that ? You go Steven !


Comments:

Gotta love the way that stellar example of Christian virtues, Gingrich, wants to hold the line against pagan values. Values like ethical violations while holding public office, giving your wife divorce papers while she's in the hospital with cancer, having affairs--what would we Christians do without Newt around to tell us what's right and wrong?
Posted by: frazer on June 7, 2009 at 7:55 AM

We are talking about serial adulterer Gingrich, tight? Also religious racist bigot Huckabee. Now I have seen everything.
Posted by: JS on June 7, 2009 at 8:05 AM

Pagans??? I can't wait until Newt gets to fornicators.
Posted by: JoeW on June 7, 2009 at 8:07 AM

So called "Paganism" predates Christianity by a couple of millenia. In fact Christianity co opted many of the old ways, including various holidays. Even the Golden Rule comes from the Wiccan Rule of Three.
Posted by: DAY on June 7, 2009 at 8:09 AM

"Two leading voices of the Republican Party's evangelical wing"
hahaha... newtie's now officially acknowledged as a leading voice for the american taliban.
Posted by: linda on June 7, 2009 at 8:11 AM

Exactly what form of idol do liberals worship? Near as I can tell most liberal principles, as espoused by Christian, Jew, Muslim, religious and atheist, are grounded in the very Christian notion of "do unto others as you would have them do unto you."
Idol worship featuring a mindless devotion to Ronald Reagan and other false gods like "capitalism" are pretty much Republican stock in trade. Elevating greed to a virtue is another rather unChristian notion current in Newt Gingrich's Republican world view.
Why are we still paying attention to Newt Gingrich anyway?
Posted by: Ron Byers on June 7, 2009 at 8:19 AM

The statements of both Newtire & Hucklebee veered toward calls for theocracy.
Just what does this mean?
"I am not a citizen of the world," said Gingrich, who was first elected to the U.S. House from Georgia in 1978 and served as speaker from 1995 to 1999. "I am a citizen of the United States because only in the United States does citizenship start with our creator."
Has "historian" Gingrich never heard of the 14th Amendment?
Posted by: M. Bouffant on June 7, 2009 at 8:32 AM

Democrat Pagan Party. That has a much better ring to it than Democrat Socialist Party. Where can I get a bumper sticker?
Posted by: Norwood Woman on June 7, 2009 at 8:42 AM

These republicans remain inept, no matter the bizarrely articulate Gingrichs' of their world. Their tragic inattention to the country, and far too many miscalculations, were aptly recognized by voters in 2006 and 2008, too bad/so sad for the republican party establishment, now in shambles. These conservatives are unable to spin the reality like they use to. Undeterred, they continue in their very precise and disastrous downward direction. This morning--to my delight--a caller to Washington Journal on Cspan said President Obama can't even squeeze the Charmin without Republicans criticizing him endlessly, and another caller wondered who would be the next Turd Blossom of the republican party. Bwa ha ha . Gotta love how voters got so very intelligent the past few years! They aren't swayed by the party of continual crisis, of no solutions...the party of noooooooooooo. Talk about a major repudiation!
Posted by: consider wisely on June 7, 2009 at 8:51 AM

"today's liberalism is really just ... a philosophy rooted in ancient pagan traditions."
Well duh, isn't that the definition of philosophy? Pythagoras, Plato and Socrates were not Christians after all. There aren't many pejoratives left. But just like Liberal seems to be losing its sting, "Pagan" has also had a revival. Certainly to old guys like Gingrich and Pope Benedict, it still has that old voodoo. But I doubt in the 18-25 age group, it is the pejorative they think it is. As it is now associated with nature based religion.
Posted by: Patrick on June 7, 2009

Wingnuts - Fanning The Flames And Killing People

This today from a quite reserved and restrained Rude Pundit :

Richard Poplawski shot and killed three police officers before being arrested in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania. He legally owned an assault weapon and two handguns, despite being booted from the Marines for being too violent. Poplawski was a young man convinced the nation was secretly controlled by a cabal that would eradicate freedom of speech, take away his guns and use the military to enslave the citizenry.

Conservatives are running scared because the left is seeing a connection, especially with Poplawski, between the violent, apocalyptic rhetoric of the right.

Jesus Christ, nut up, right wingers. You can't say that we're heading towards revolution and that gun laws are harming America, but, hey, we don't want violence. No, you can't walk around naked with a raging hard-on, but then say you don't wanna fuck something. There's times when you don't get to decide what your words actually mean; there's times when others take your words and actions to logical conclusions whether you meant it or not. Toss in a depr/recession and a touch of crazy and, well, boom. So at least admit that you squirted a little lighter fluid onto the fire.

and with another opinion on the same subject is David Neiwert at Crooks And Liars :

You have to wonder if right-wingers will ever get it: Difference isn't a threat. Because we believe in freedom of speech and freedom of thought, there will probably always be haters like Richard Poplawski among us. Inevitably they will be driven by fear: the fear of difference. Because to them, difference of any kind is a threat.

They were mewling like wounded hyenas this weekend after some of us pointed out that there was a direct connection between the irresponsible fearmongering in which they've been indulging since Barack Obama was elected and Saturday's tragedy in Pittsburgh.
We strongly believe that there's a clear, common-sense connection between the paranoiac fearmongering that has passed for right-wing rhetoric since well before Obama's election (and has become acute since) and violence like that in Pittsburgh, or in Knoxville: horrifying tragedies, in which the sources of the criminal's unambiguous motives are that very same hysterical fearmongering -- whether it's about the evil socialists, stinking immigrants, or conspiring gun-grabbers who've taken over the country since Election Day.

And yes, Glenn Beck deserves some mention here. His fearmongering on the gun issue is noteworthy in itself. I'm sure we all remember the time he speculated that these shooters were just ordinary citizens frustrated by "the system" and "political correctness."

At the same time, the unrelenting meme being pushed by the right that Obama will mount an assault on the Second Amendment has helped fuel the panic buying of firearms. According to the F.B.I., there have been 1.2 million more requests for background checks of potential gun buyers from November to February than there were in the same four months last year.

Needless to say, President Obama has repeatedly expressed his support for the Second Amendment and opposes a ban on firearms in the United States.

And from across the big water, read what The British Observer has to say :

The American right-wing machine has cranked up its engine of evil to prevent Obama from doing what needs to be done. I get Fox News on what you can refer to as cable, and it is clear that there is a systemic attempt to muster and organise against Obama’s agenda. Now, organising against the Democratic agenda is not in itself a bad thing. It is only right that in a healthy and functional democracy there exist a strong and viable opposition, laying their cards on the table. However, what we witness now is not the laying of cards, but rather: IRRATIONAL HATRED. The kind of hatred that Clinton faced and that Kennedy before him faced. The kind of right-wing hatred that propels individuals to shoot up schools and immigration centres under the demonstrably false contention that the election of Barack Obama, America’s first black President, would herald a drop in their standard of living, a standard that had already received permanent residency in the toilet after W.’s first term. The kind of hate that pushes duly elected member of America’s legislative arm to call for "revolutions" or to accuse the President of the United States of being a "socialist". The kind of hate that leaves the American secret service no choice but to put in place an unimaginable security regime around the American President just to ensure a Bill O’Reilly or Sean Hannity inspired lunatic does not turn everybody’s worst nightmare into reality.

A little more on the Pittsburgh shooter :
Accused cop-killer Richard Poplawski spent hours posting racist messages on an extremist right-wing Web site, decrying blacks and Latinos and warning of forthcoming economic collapse fueled by the "Zionist occupation" of America, an expert in political extremism has determined. Earlier, he had praised the "AK" rifle as his ideal weapon.

On March 13, according to the site, Mr. Poplawski wrote a lengthy post predicting economic collapse, engineered by a Jewish conspiracy:

"The federal government, mainstream media, and banking system in these United States are strongly under the influence of -- if not completely controlled by -- Zionist interest," the post declares. "An economic collapse of the financial system is inevitable, bringing with it some degree of civil unrest if not outright balkanization of the continental US, civil/revolutionary/racial war . . . This collapse is likely engineered by the elite Jewish powers that be in order to make for a power and asset grab."

So , not just another nutty crazed gunman, and not a guy who " flipped out when the dog pissed on the rug ". Let the blame fall where it should.